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qcontinuumOkay, you know what? I'm not going to let her dictate my life to me. That is entirely beneath me. Running and hiding because I'm afraid a former enemy is going to make wiseass comments-- or even so much as *talk* to me-- is ridiculous and not worthy of a Q, certainly not worthy of *this* Q. And besides, I have this funny story to tell about Vash and my kid.
First, you have to understand, Vash made me promise that I wouldn't interfere in her life without her specifically asking me. So there she was, rotting in a jail cell on Mastykfora, a truly unpleasant place. Your basic dungeon, with ratlike creatures that make Cardassian voles look positively cuddly. But did she ask me for help? Nooooo. Which would have tied my hands, were it not for the fact that she never actually forbade my *son* to help her, due to his slight case of not having been born the last time I saw Vash.
I wanted him to go in there looking like what he is, which is, basically, in human equivalent, a nine-year-old kid. He wanted to go in there looking like a handsome swashbuckler. He won. I couldn't help it, I wanted to see how long he could string Vash along before she realized how young he really is. Besides, I have to tell him "no" so many times when he wants to do things that are outright against the rules, so I like to indulge him when what he wants isn't actually illegal.
I'll give Vash *some* credit, she figured out immediately that he was both a Q and not me. He told her that in order to avoid confusing him with me and everyone else she could call him Trelane, and I winced-- if Vash knew anything about 23rd century history that name might tip her off. (You're supposed to *change* your use-name over time periods.) But, well, 23rd century is too recent to have produced any ancient and valuable artifacts Vash can steal and sell, so she's totally ignorant, as it turns out. She didn't get it. So my son, who for the rest of this post I'll call Trelane because writing q looks stupid, waves his hand at the door and it magically opens. He strolls out of there with Vash on his arm. They get halfway out of the prison before the guards come after them.
Trelane turned all their guns into swords, and then proceeded to sword-fight with them, winning of course. It's not that he's really all that good at sword-fighting, it's that he'd turned off the pain sensors on the body he was inhabiting, so there they were getting slashes in on him and he was just laughing and charging forward. They must have found that somewhat unnerving. Only a small handful were brave enough to keep attacking, and as a result they ended up with various holes in their anatomy. (Vash really *did* deserve to be in that dungeon, so I fixed them up afterward so they didn't bleed to death. Man, I'm getting soft.) Then, instead of snapping his fingers or something, Trelane made a portal to Risa and invited Vash to come through with him. I should have seen where this was going, but I confess I was too busy laughing.
So she went through the portal with him, and he cleaned her up and gave her a beautiful dress, which was really kind of wasted on her because that human aging thing? It's done a number on Vash. I swear she looks hideous now. Poor thing, should have stayed with me. How's she going to be a con woman if she's as ugly as that? Of course, to be charitable maybe it was the stress of her prison stay. Her face was all drawn and liney and haggard-looking. Amazing that Jean-Luc hasn't aged at all and Vash looks like she's aged twice as fast as the actual years would call for. But Trelane has no taste, so he was calling her "beautiful lady" and being all gallant and that kind of thing.
She fell for it totally.
He took her out to dinner, and dancing, and I swear it looked to me as if she was actually falling for *him*-- that, as ridiculous and childish as his whole swashbuckler act looked to me, *she* found it attractive. Pretty damn funny. Also, a bit disturbing. If she can't tell the difference between a Q being relatively sincere, or as sincere as we get, and a Q child playacting, then... well, I'm better off having broken up with her then. That's actually rather pathetic.
At the point where she dragged him off to a hotel room, planted some deep smooches and started trying to pull his clothes off for a bit of Risan jamaharohn, I stepped in and told him that playtime was over and it was time to come home. He pouted. Vash... Vash was horrified. When she realized Trelane was my son she asked me how old he really was... so I turned him into a nine-year-old kid, which made him pout outrageously and stomp his foot a lot, but *really* upset Vash. Apparently engaging in sordid activities with children is the most horrific taboo humans have. She was speechless with horror. It was the funniest thing I've seen in years; I couldn't have set up a better joke if I'd *worked* at it. Then she started throwing everything in the room at me and screaming that I set her up and she almost slept with a *child* and how could I do such a thing and was I some sort of stinking pedophile voyeur and I should never have been allowed to reproduce and all kinds of things, which seemed to be upsetting Trelane because here he'd thought he made a new friend and the moment she found out his maturity level in terms of his species she was acting like being with him was the worst imaginable thing I could have done to her. Sad, really. She shouldn't have treated the poor kid like that.
I took him home and left Vash to rant at nothing, with no money to pay for the hotel room she was in. She's a criminal, she'll figure something out. As funny as the whole thing was I feel strangely saddened by it. Vash is much less than I thought her to be, and she really disappointed Trelane with her hysterical ranting at the end, so even though he had fun up until that point it sort of spoiled things for him.
Hmm. We'll have to find something else fun to do. On the other hand, Amanda has promised me she would babysit, and while she's currently trying to weasel out of it with the "I never said *when*" clause, I expect I'll be able to pass Trelane off onto her in the near future and be able to go visit Jean-Luc, who did, in fact, invite me. That ought to be much more pleasant than dealing with Vash.
First, you have to understand, Vash made me promise that I wouldn't interfere in her life without her specifically asking me. So there she was, rotting in a jail cell on Mastykfora, a truly unpleasant place. Your basic dungeon, with ratlike creatures that make Cardassian voles look positively cuddly. But did she ask me for help? Nooooo. Which would have tied my hands, were it not for the fact that she never actually forbade my *son* to help her, due to his slight case of not having been born the last time I saw Vash.
I wanted him to go in there looking like what he is, which is, basically, in human equivalent, a nine-year-old kid. He wanted to go in there looking like a handsome swashbuckler. He won. I couldn't help it, I wanted to see how long he could string Vash along before she realized how young he really is. Besides, I have to tell him "no" so many times when he wants to do things that are outright against the rules, so I like to indulge him when what he wants isn't actually illegal.
I'll give Vash *some* credit, she figured out immediately that he was both a Q and not me. He told her that in order to avoid confusing him with me and everyone else she could call him Trelane, and I winced-- if Vash knew anything about 23rd century history that name might tip her off. (You're supposed to *change* your use-name over time periods.) But, well, 23rd century is too recent to have produced any ancient and valuable artifacts Vash can steal and sell, so she's totally ignorant, as it turns out. She didn't get it. So my son, who for the rest of this post I'll call Trelane because writing q looks stupid, waves his hand at the door and it magically opens. He strolls out of there with Vash on his arm. They get halfway out of the prison before the guards come after them.
Trelane turned all their guns into swords, and then proceeded to sword-fight with them, winning of course. It's not that he's really all that good at sword-fighting, it's that he'd turned off the pain sensors on the body he was inhabiting, so there they were getting slashes in on him and he was just laughing and charging forward. They must have found that somewhat unnerving. Only a small handful were brave enough to keep attacking, and as a result they ended up with various holes in their anatomy. (Vash really *did* deserve to be in that dungeon, so I fixed them up afterward so they didn't bleed to death. Man, I'm getting soft.) Then, instead of snapping his fingers or something, Trelane made a portal to Risa and invited Vash to come through with him. I should have seen where this was going, but I confess I was too busy laughing.
So she went through the portal with him, and he cleaned her up and gave her a beautiful dress, which was really kind of wasted on her because that human aging thing? It's done a number on Vash. I swear she looks hideous now. Poor thing, should have stayed with me. How's she going to be a con woman if she's as ugly as that? Of course, to be charitable maybe it was the stress of her prison stay. Her face was all drawn and liney and haggard-looking. Amazing that Jean-Luc hasn't aged at all and Vash looks like she's aged twice as fast as the actual years would call for. But Trelane has no taste, so he was calling her "beautiful lady" and being all gallant and that kind of thing.
She fell for it totally.
He took her out to dinner, and dancing, and I swear it looked to me as if she was actually falling for *him*-- that, as ridiculous and childish as his whole swashbuckler act looked to me, *she* found it attractive. Pretty damn funny. Also, a bit disturbing. If she can't tell the difference between a Q being relatively sincere, or as sincere as we get, and a Q child playacting, then... well, I'm better off having broken up with her then. That's actually rather pathetic.
At the point where she dragged him off to a hotel room, planted some deep smooches and started trying to pull his clothes off for a bit of Risan jamaharohn, I stepped in and told him that playtime was over and it was time to come home. He pouted. Vash... Vash was horrified. When she realized Trelane was my son she asked me how old he really was... so I turned him into a nine-year-old kid, which made him pout outrageously and stomp his foot a lot, but *really* upset Vash. Apparently engaging in sordid activities with children is the most horrific taboo humans have. She was speechless with horror. It was the funniest thing I've seen in years; I couldn't have set up a better joke if I'd *worked* at it. Then she started throwing everything in the room at me and screaming that I set her up and she almost slept with a *child* and how could I do such a thing and was I some sort of stinking pedophile voyeur and I should never have been allowed to reproduce and all kinds of things, which seemed to be upsetting Trelane because here he'd thought he made a new friend and the moment she found out his maturity level in terms of his species she was acting like being with him was the worst imaginable thing I could have done to her. Sad, really. She shouldn't have treated the poor kid like that.
I took him home and left Vash to rant at nothing, with no money to pay for the hotel room she was in. She's a criminal, she'll figure something out. As funny as the whole thing was I feel strangely saddened by it. Vash is much less than I thought her to be, and she really disappointed Trelane with her hysterical ranting at the end, so even though he had fun up until that point it sort of spoiled things for him.
Hmm. We'll have to find something else fun to do. On the other hand, Amanda has promised me she would babysit, and while she's currently trying to weasel out of it with the "I never said *when*" clause, I expect I'll be able to pass Trelane off onto her in the near future and be able to go visit Jean-Luc, who did, in fact, invite me. That ought to be much more pleasant than dealing with Vash.
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no subject
Date: 2003-04-07 12:39 pm (UTC)Because you know...
Date: 2003-04-09 02:44 pm (UTC)Of course I wouldn't want to be sexist here. Mortal men are even worse.