I'm getting whiplash.

[qcontinuum]

So here I am going along being all nice and benevolent and giving people coffee makers and even *confiding* in them on occasion and acting like Mr. Nice Guy. And then someone pisses me off. So I decide to be an asshole for the evening. And you know what? It's fun, and I like it, and I don't know why I ever stopped.

What's with this sudden desire to make people like me? I'm Q. People have never liked me. That's the point. It seems idiotic for me to try to play nice. And yet I find myself slipping into it, going through periods where I actually feel as if gratuitously annoying people is actually immature and beneath me. As if.

I think perhaps I'll go interrogate soulvamp on this whole conflict between wanting to make people angry and upset and actually wanting to be *nice*. He's been through it before, maybe he's got some insight. (Of course, he also admits freely that he's a slave to love, which will be my problem right around the time the suns burn out and the universe contracts into a monobloc again.)

Comments

[kathrynjaneway.livejournal.com]

Well, I for one very much appreciate your benevolent actions, Q, and I'd hate to see you 'backslide' simply because you feel your overtures of friendship are being met with suspicion or ingratitude. Believe me, I know all about people not always appreciating actions that are meant to have their best interests at heart (cough::seven_of_nine::cough).

And you're probably the last person I'd expect to mention 'the time the suns burn out' for when an unlikely event will occur, considering your past association with supernovae...

I did say "suns."

[qcontinuum.livejournal.com]

As in "all of them."

Believe me, being underappreciated and having my gifts met with suspicion or ingratitude is the story of my life. It's what happens when you're a professional provocateur. There are planets out there where I saved them from a supernova and they still think I'm a demon and tell their kids to be good or I'll come for them.

I have a thick skin-- sort of a side effect of deliberately provoking people for millions of years. The problem is... well, the problem boils down to I don't know what I want. I like annoying people, actually. I like it a lot. But I...

...am spending entirely too much time whining about my personal conflicts to humans, and it's doubtful you care. So let us just say I have some decisions to make about who I want to be, and leave it at that.

Re: I did say "suns."

[kathrynjaneway.livejournal.com]

Even omnipotent beings want/need to know that they (and their actions) matter to someone else.