I'm boooooooooooooooooored.

[qcontinuum]

It says something unfortunate about how depressing life has become that I am reduced to THIS. Pouring out my sorrows and ennui in a bathetic display on a computer system administered by MORTALS. Oh, the humiliation. Oh, the pain of it all.

The hell with it. I need an audience. It takes a big entity to admit his needs, and I am a *very*... big... entity, if ya know what I mean (and I think you do... wink wink nudge nudge, hey wot?) Very well, then, I admit it. I'M GOING MAD!!!!! I've had no one to talk to but other Q for centuries, and ... how shall I put this politely... we haven't had anything worth saying to one another in... well, more time than your pitiful mortal minds can imagine.

So here I am. Entertain me!

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

...Ah, greetings Q. What an opportunity! I've been hoping for years to meet a Q, and as it turns out, the most famous Q of all decides to meet with the Federation public!

I have some questions. I hope you won't mind?

1.) Did Shakespeare really write those plays? If not, who did?
2.) Temporal mechanics: Is the theorem produced by Faj of Trill correct?
3.) What is your favorite form of art?

Thank you,
--Prof. Ilari Jagin, Daystrom Institute.

What do I look like, the Answer Man?

[qcontinuum.livejournal.com]

Oh very well.

1. They were actually created via a temporal paradox. A certain friend of mine ended up going back in time in an event that had NOTHING to do with a test imposed by the Q Continuum, whatever you may hear, discovered that Shakespeare was a great actor but couldn't string two sentences together to save his life, and preserved the timeline by ghostwriting his plays from memory. Not that I would have had anything to do with that, or anything.

2. *Which* Faj of Trill? There are about 20 of them involved with physics and three philosophers. I imagine you'd never heard of the Faj of Trill who was just about to get to work on writing his thesis paper when he was beaten to death by a jealous ex-boyfriend, but that still leaves 22 you could be talking about, and your mind isn't interesting enough for me to bother reading it.

3. Do you mean, what's my favorite this millennium? Or what's my favorite of all time? I'm billions of years old, who can bother keeping track of *everything* they've liked in billions of years?

(sigh) I have an answer, of course, but as it's disgustingly sappy and belongs on the equivalent of a Hallmark card, and as saying such a thing would be totally out of character for me, how about I just leave that one blank. Besides, if he doesn't *stop* putting lesser beings' spaceships in his mouth to see if they taste like Denobulan chicken, I'll change my mind...

Re: What do I look like, the Answer Man?

[(Anonymous)]

Ooh. You responded. Wow.

1.) Would that be Picard? Or a different 'friend of Q' that the Federation isn't aware of?

2.) The fifth host, the most famous one. Kaljin Faj. Although I can understand you not wanting to tell me, what with you being such an advanced form of life.

3.) Alright. I guess it will go unanswered.

Since you responded to my first post, I thought maybe I could ask another question.

4.) What is it like to be an interdimensional, omnipotent being?

--Prof.

[policeboxblue.livejournal.com]

I'm a depressed time machine. Pleased to meet you.

I bet I'm more bored than you are. Bloody humans/half-humans/Time Lords/robot dogs/lepers.

[techno4tomcats.livejournal.com]

Hey, I'mma wolf with anlters. Nice to meet you, oh omipresent one.

Q you blithering nit

[timenchanter.livejournal.com]

What right, Q, do you have to complain about your boredom? Constantly you berate me and my kind. Imploring us to better ourselves; to further our own causes. Yet you incessantly bombard us with these juvenile...dare I say "infantile"?...rantings of the lethargic happenings of your egotistical existence. It has recently come to my attention that you are now even tormenting the despondent crew of Voyager, specifically Capt. Janeway (what IS it with you and Captains of the Federation?) by only allowing them communication with the Alpha Quadrant via this antiquated system! It is high time, Q, that you got off your omnipotent arse and started using some of that power you negligently wield for the good of your fellow creatures in this Universe!--Jean Luc

What *right*?

[qcontinuum.livejournal.com]

Did someone just ask me what *right* I have to complain about being bored? Someone who's sworn to uphold Federation ideals like, I dunno, free speech and tolerance for other species? I haven't been by to see you in five of your measly mortal little years and the best I get is "Q, get off my Livejournal system?" I suppose I *could* go to your ship instead...

As for helping the universe... suuuuuure, because *you* go around using your great technologies to uplift poor benighted lesser species out of the gutter of their pre-warp misery all the time. Oh, wait, there's this thing called the Prime Directive, so no, you don't. Did it ever enter your puny human brain that we Q have a similar directive in place? That we choose who we help very carefully? And that if we went around willy-nilly using our powers to be good and benevolent and nifty all the time, everyone would end up worshiping us, and then they'd start killing each other over whether or not we really *meant* it when we said they shouldn't eat the fish on their planet? So, if we actually do help someone out, generally, they won't know it?

I'd like you to consider that you, personally, have gotten involved in so many temporal anomalies even I don't feel like counting them all. Poor boring Nerys has been involved in three or four. Kathy, pff! Her whole life is a temporal anomaly. Only three crews in your precious Federation (okay, technically Nerys is not Federation, but Feddies were involved in the temp anomalies she was)... multiply that by the number of crews there are out there, and then ask yourself: why is your timeline stable?

Food for thought.

Re: What *right*?

[timenchanter.livejournal.com]

Oh come off it Q. Your holier-than-thou attitude, though plausible in a being of your aptitude, is preposterous coming from you. Though I know this may inspire a comment about the limited linear nature of my mortal mind, in the thirteen years that I have known you, only once have your motives even remotely been for some other purpose than your egotistical pleasure. Unceasingly have you shown my kind that you have only the most rudimentary of consciences. I believe your fascination with our own consciences is what keeps us within your fancy.

As for our dealings with temporal anomolies, how many of them were caused by you or your kind (need I mention Trelaine? He was planting obsticals in the path of human beings even back in Kirk's days on the Enterprise).

So, yes Q, indeed *what* right?! -- Jean Luc

Re: What *right*?

[qcontinuum.livejournal.com]

Okay. Trelane. Got me there. Though how you know he was responsible for half a dozen temporal anomalies I don't know, all he did to your predecessor was put him on trial for breaking his focusing device and refusing to play with him (which is BAD, mind you, I don't tolerate such behavior, but it hardly involved a temporal anomaly.) And I cleaned those up anyway.

However, the vast majority of temporal anomalies your species has become involved with have had nothing to do with *any* Q, of any age. We clean up our own messes. You... well, you try, but you don't have the big picture.

I mean, let's get real. Kirk: went back in time to interfere with Gary Seven (who was a little snot and could have used more interference, if you ask me), went back in time to accidentally kidnap a pilot, went back in time to rescue *Whales*, went back in time because his doctor was on drugs, got involved with an alien species whose fun pastime it was to escape impending supernova by going to the past. You: got caught in a time loop, found Data's head in the 19th century, got frozen in the moment of a warp core breach, went back in time to stop the Borg from taking over your planet, and you know what, I'm already bored cataloguing it. Let's just point out that of the many temporal anomalies you personally have encountered, only two were caused by me, and in one I took great care, as I believe I pointed out, to make sure that the only aspect of the timeline you could make a difference to was your own life. And the other one was a test, and you passed it. Yay for you. I'm having second thoughts about that grade, though.

Don't even ask me about the Temporal Cold War. Humans and their enemy du jour are going to *deliberately* attempt to royally screw things up, are in fact doing so right at the moment back in the 22nd century, and you know what? You're all still here.

My point being. You've known me for thirteen of your years? And in all that time we have spent, I believe, a total of less than two weeks in each other's company. Counting that really horrible, horrible day I try to forget. I am billions of your years old, and on the basis of two weeks, you think you know me? It is to laugh.

Admittedly, no, I am not a font of benevolence. The Continuum found out the hard way that it is very, very bad to do nice things for people unless you're willing to do them all the time. You turn around for fifty years and when you come back they're having a holy war over a casual remark you made about bears being tasty. I'm selfish, and I do what I like. (Well, used to. I don't *like* babysitting, and I'm not just talking about my son now. Babysitting supposedly adult Q is even worse.) I have, in fact, done things far more horrible than you can easily imagine, long before you and I met, for fairly little reason by your standards. I have also done things you in your self-righteousness would deem horrible, lacking the bigger picture to know how many lives I was saving or how much evolutionary turmoil I was shortcutting.

Re: What *right*?

[qcontinuum.livejournal.com]

I mean, let's face it, given that your good dear wonderful wise friend who actually lived through their assault told you jack about the Borg even when you *begged* her for information, and they had ALREADY ASSIMILATED AT LEAST THREE HUMANS long before you met them (ask Kathy about darling Seven if you don't believe me), if I hadn't exposed you to the Borg you would currently *still* be Locutus. Or a drone. Because you'd have never seen them coming. But no, 18 people dead, whine whine whine. And I'll freely admit that I came to *guide* you and help you with the Borg and then you pissed me off so I threw you to them, which, I'll admit, is not the act of an unselfish benevolent creature. But if I hadn't done anything? Right this minute the Vulcans and Romulans would be teamed up in a desperate rear-guard action to try to fight off the Borg, who would have successfully taken Earth, Betazed, Q'onos, Ferenginar (why they'd *want* Ferenginar... but I digress) and you personally would be Locutus, or a drone, or dead. How do I know this? BECAUSE I AM AS CLOSE TO OMNIPOTENT AS IT GETS. I can jump forward in time, see what's supposed to happen, and make the decision whether or not to do something about it. You don't like what I do choose to do about it? Cry me a river.


And... has that Irumodic Syndrome kicked in already? You forgot what I've done for you that you *know* about since that one unselfish act:

- fixed your damn moon for you that you were whining so much about
- took Vash off your hands so she would stop hassling you
- kept your ship from being blown up and your first officer from becoming the love slave of a teenage Q who had no clue what she was doing (or any taste in men! bleah!)
- saved your life
- gave you an opportunity to purge some personal demons about your behavior at the Academy
- helped you with a test (which, I'll go on record again, WAS NOT MY IDEA)
- gave you a warning about a disease you *will* get if your incompetent excuse for a doctor doesn't do something about it
- gave you information about the future so you could keep from marrying said doctor and thus making the worst romantic mistake of your life and ruining one of your best friendships, AGAIN

I won't count giving Data a chuckle because that was direct quid pro quo.

So you know what? Lose the attitude, Johnny boy. It's gotten old, and I thought you had gotten over "Q, get off my ship" ages ago. I could be a *much* bigger asshole than I'm being right now, believe you me.

Re: What *right*?

[timenchanter.livejournal.com]

Oh, yes Q, I forgot that our mere mortal intellects are incapable of understanding such complicated emotions as egotism, ennui, peevishness and revenge. But I digress from my point in this response. Such a superior being, should he so choose, would know our limitations. If the grasp of these things is truly beyong the reach of human beings, why do you continue to devote such attentions on us. If they are within our powers to comprehend, why continue to tell us that we "would never understand." You contradict yourself on a regular basis, Q, and expect us to accept these things as merely being a part of your mysterious, superior being behavior. I say no! I will continue to question you at every turn. Your methods are suspect, your reasoning is unsound and your motives are questionable in the extreme! It is not in human nature to accept things merely because "you say so." -- Jean Luc

Oh, and...

[qcontinuum.livejournal.com]

*I* didn't "not allow" them to communicate with the Alpha Quadrant. Elementary laws of physics did that. I even offered to take 'em home, and all Kathy had to do was *not* rule that an ill and depressed entity had the right to kill himself and set off a civil war. Which isn't, as you might imagine, what she did.

So don't tell me I didn't *allow* something. What I did allow was for them to communicate at *all*, and you whine that it's not enough? Who do you think I am, Père Noël? (for the Français-challenged in the audience, that's Father Christmas.)

You want me to use my powers to save the universe. Kathy thinks Starfleet officers can't take favors from omnipotent beings. Which is it?

And does that mean it's okay if I come give you a present now?

Re: Oh, and...

[timenchanter.livejournal.com]

Oh very good Q. Once again you choose to only see the side of the argument that points to your benevolence. I was not attempting to imply that you were responsible for our lack of technology that currently prevents us from fully communicating with the Delta Quadrant. I was referring to the limited nature in which you have allowed such communication to now exist. Knowing Janeway (by reputation at the least), we may yet be able to utilize this media for some small measure of communication. Only time will tell. However, you are correct. I admit that I must thank you in some small measure. Trust me, this shocks me as much as it does you. I won't mention it again if you won't. -- Jean Luc